Jlissa's Journey

My journey to Now

Rate this Entry
A series of sermons about marriage brought me back to God. Last year all I wanted was a divorce. I thought about it hourly. I dreamed about being in the courtroom. I imagined what it would feel like to be free. I only wanted to talk to my husband, if it was about divorce. Divorce was the promised land for me.

Then one day I happened to catch a minister on t.v speaking about marriage. In 5 sermons, he spoke about the hardships his marriage had been through. He spoke about hating your spouse. He spoke about unconditional love. And I felt like he was talking to me.

I knew he was speaking to me, when he spoke about past loves. See in high school I thought I met my future husband. We dated for a while, and then went our separate ways. The next time I saw him, I was on a date with someone else. We chatted. And lost contact again. Until 8 years later when I saw a news article about him. And looked him up. And called.

And had the most intelligent, beautiful, mind blowing conversation. He remembered everything about me. He even remembered the last time we met. And the name of the guy I was on a date with. He asked questions that no one else had ever asked me before. He didn't want to know about my job, he wanted to know what my passion was. We talked, we laughed, and we learned.

And he asked me out. But I said no. At the time I believed I wasn't ready for him. But now I know he wasn't my husband. I met my husband 9 months later.

But I always thought about "the one I said no to." Until the t.v minister spoke to me. His sermon talked about " the one that got away." And how you're still pining over someone you dated 20 years ago. "Saying but he's my true love." That sermon made me see that he got away for a reason.

After listening to those sermons, I talked to God. Even though I hadn't spoken to God in years. I felt depressed, because this couldn't be my husband. I told God that. I asked him why. I cried, I raged. I tried to make deals with God. I couldn't imagine staying married to this man.
Tags: None Add / Edit Tags
Categories
Spirtual Fasting , Random Jlissa Thoughts

Comments

  1. NJoy's Avatar
    Powerful entry Jlissa. Thank you for sharing. You're setting somebody free right now.