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Tink
11-15-2011, 12:59 AM
Hi ladies! I really need some advice. I'm still in the midst of a setback and I'm kinda lost as to what I should do. The difference in length is so frustrating for me and I don't know whether to get it cut all even or just to trim gradually until everything catches up and then continue growing from there. Tell me about your setback and how you recovered from it. I've been on my journey since July 2007 and I feel like I'm back at square one. I should be toe-length by now!

NJoy
11-15-2011, 11:18 AM
What the? Did you post details of your setback already somewhere? Let me go look. I need to know what's going on, woman!

Tink
11-15-2011, 12:26 PM
What the? Did you post details of your setback already somewhere? Let me go look. I need to know what's going on, woman!

lol - actually I don't think I did. I started my journey in July 2007 barely grazing SL. My hair was very uneven. I started dc'ing, moisturizing and sealing, and co-washing. I wore a half wig during this time. In January 2008 I had hubby trim it and I was full SL. It felt so good to get rid of those uneven lengths!!! I was consistent with my reggie although it was trial & error and I was making progress with no setbacks in length. After I had my first baby in March 2009 I had major postpartum shedding and I was so tired being a new mom I neglected my hair. And on top of that, I had resigned my job with the school system to be a sahm and since we were down to one income I decided to try self-relaxing to save money. I was terrified of over-processing and ended up very under-processed and experienced breakage at the line of demarcation. I also ended up pregnant again when the first baby was 10mths old and went through the whole postpartum shedding phase again after the new baby was born. Since we paid off our car and some other bills, hubby gave me the okay to start back getting my hair done at the salon. My first appt was in June of this year but the damage had already been done. It's frustrating to me to see all the uneven lengths due to the breakage from when I was self-relaxing and not properly caring for my hair. I was grazing APL before my setback and looking to reach that goal within 6 months. Now I feel like I'm back at square one. My bangs did retain nice length and my sister suggested I just wear bangs in the front and keep my hair in the back protected in a bun, etc. which is fine with me but when I see my hair down I get discouraged. That's why I was debating whether or not to cut it all even and start from there or just gradually trim as it grows until it's even...

Ravengirl
11-15-2011, 03:30 PM
I gave myself a setback in June from a doing a poor job at a trim. :wallbash: Ending up cutting too much all around and a nice chuck on the right side out of laziness. I'm taking it as a new starting point and am growing it out. I will have my hemline evened out when I get to BSL or WL since no one can tell anyway.
I say do what would be more satisfying to you and carry on from there. :)

Tink
11-15-2011, 04:52 PM
I say do what would be more satisfying to you and carry on from there. :)

That's the difficult part. I don't know what would satisfy me most. I'm frustrated looking at what it looks like now and the thought of it being 3-4 inches shorter is frustrating too... *sigh* don't know what to do

NJoy
11-15-2011, 08:25 PM
That's the difficult part. I don't know what would satisfy me most. I'm frustrated looking at what it looks like now and the thought of it being 3-4 inches shorter is frustrating too... *sigh* don't know what to do

I say, trim as you go and put the back away so that it doesn't bother you on the regular. Sounds like you'll kick yourself more if you cut 3-4 inches.

I had a setback at the beginning of this year. I was deep in a stretch (8-9 months post) and just simply unable to take care of my hair due to my mom's failing healthy. I tried putting my hair in celie braids, pinning them up and then keeping my hair covered. No extra moisture during my stretch. No daily care at all.

I had 3 detangling nightmares and once when my braids knotted together. I was so stressed that I dunked my head underwater in the bath, sort of expecting my braids to fall loose. :rolleyes: The knots tightened. So, I piled them under a cap, put on my scarf, went back to the hospital with the idea of detangling later, when I had more time. Well, being dead dog tired every night left no time or patience so, I ended up ripping my braids apart. :drama:

So, not only did I rip my hair but I lost a lot of hair during those detangling nightmares while stretching. I've trimmed a couple times since just to make sure I didn't have splits ride up on me. And my ends looked thinner to me at my June length check. But still, the damage wasn't too noticeable because my hair is layered.

I haven't panicked. I just know that I have trims to even things up in my future. And since I'm transitioning to texlaxed and usually don't wear my hair out anyway, I'm not tripping over spilled milk. The ends will go eventually anyhow and will be replaced by lucious thickness. :cool: Keep your eyes on the prize.

Tink
11-15-2011, 11:05 PM
Thanks ladies! I've decided not to make any hasty emotional decisions so I will just wear bangs and make sure the back is pinned up or in a bun. I'll see how it looks after my next relaxer and then decide if and when I want to take a few inches off to even it up.

NJoy
11-16-2011, 10:55 AM
Thanks ladies! I've decided not to make any hasty emotional decisions so I will just wear bangs and make sure the back is pinned up or in a bun. I'll see how it looks after my next relaxer and then decide if and when I want to take a few inches off to even it up.

Good decision. How long you stretching your relaxers. When's your next?

Tink
11-16-2011, 02:09 PM
Good decision. How long you stretching your relaxers. When's your next?

I usually stretch 10-12 weeks and my last relaxer was in September but it didn't take. My ng was so outrageous that I sprayed some Sta-Sof-Fro on it the day before my relaxer. Not a good idea! I didn't realize that it didn't take because after she relaxed it, she blow-dried it so it seemed fine to me. The first wash revealed the TRUTH lol. I was planning to wait until December but I'm desperate NOW!

NJoy
11-17-2011, 03:13 PM
I usually stretch 10-12 weeks and my last relaxer was in September but it didn't take. My ng was so outrageous that I sprayed some Sta-Sof-Fro on it the day before my relaxer. Not a good idea! I didn't realize that it didn't take because after she relaxed it, she blow-dried it so it seemed fine to me. The first wash revealed the TRUTH lol. I was planning to wait until December but I'm desperate NOW!

Yeah, I hear ya.

Are you taking pics of your hair so that you can keep up with your trimming progress. I'm just assuming that you're gonna keep trimming a little at a time until it's even. Or are you going to wait until a certaing length and then just straighten it out then?

Tink
11-26-2011, 12:38 PM
Just a little update ladies! I did get my hair relaxed last Sunday and even let the stylist trim an inch off. I was very pleased with the results and it didn't even feel like a trim because I still had decent length. It doesn't seem as bad as I thought and I feel like I'm back on track now! So relieved!!! My plan for now is to be more consistent with moisturizing, sealing, dc'ing, using my sulfur mix, and visualizing. I also plan to do the Nupur Henna again. @Njoy - I'm taking pics regularly. I'm not sure if I'm going to trim as I grow or wait until I'm APL and trim until I get a full, thick APL. Hmm... I'll probably wait until I'm APL and trim until I'm satisfied with the fullness, then go on to MBL and beyond! Thanks so much for all the support and encouragement! =)

Tink
11-26-2011, 12:40 PM
Oh, and I'll will post an update pic after I do the henna which should be within the next two weeks. I have to order some more from Amazon. Can anybody recommend a good shea butter???